just another regular check-up
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- Created on Tuesday, 22 June 2010 14:33
- Written by Erik
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It's been six months and I'm going back up to the big hospital in Taipei for a regular check-up. I thought I'd eventually get used to these regular tests, but I never will. I live in bits and pieces; a few months at the time. During every visit to the doctor I expect him to tell me my time is up. That the nightmare once again has begun.
I live like Martin Heidegger, and Buddha himself, wanted human beings to live: with a constant and acute awareness of the meaningless abyss which surrounds us. But I'm not cut out for nirvana. Occupying this elevated position makes me nauseous.
"It's a good thing they check up on you," says Saga. "Most people have no idea if they go around with some horrible illness." And of course she's right. It's just a regular check-up.